“You Got Something Else You’d Rather Be Doing?”

Back in the early 2000s, in a comedy club, a 29 year old, struggling, aspiring comedian, Orny Adams got the chance to talk with the great Jerry Seinfeld and ask some advice.

At this time, their careers were in wildly different places. Seinfeld was larger than life and one of the most successful comedians in the world, and Orny Adams was still trying to “make it.”

The aspiring comedian says to Jerry Seinfeld that he’d been struggling for about 10 years as a comedian. And still had yet to arrive. 

As he was approaching his 30s. Adams was worried he had taken the wrong path. He was afraid he had been wasting his life chasing the dream of comedy.

“I’m 29, I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much of my life. The last 3 years have been a blur.” Adams says.

“Do you have something else you would rather have been doing?” Seinfeld says. “You got other appointments or other places you gotta be?” 

“Not necessarily.” Adams responds. “I see my friends, all my friends. They're making a lot of money on Wall Street. My friends are moving up.”

“Moving up?” Seinfeld says with a disgusted face.

If you watch the segment it becomes increasingly clear, Jerry Seinfeld cannot relate in any way to what Orny Adams is sharing and it may have far less to do with “success” and far more to do with how Seinfeld relates to the work of becoming a great comedian.

This edition of How To Flourish is about how we frame “the work” surrounding our aspirations. 

“This is Not About “Making It.”

“This has nothing to do with your friends. This, (pointing to the stage) is such a special thing. This has nothing to do with making it.” Seinfeld says.

“But did you ever stop and compare your life and go okay, I’m 29, all my friends they’re married, they have houses, they have some sort of sense of normality. I mean, what do you tell your parents?”

“Your parents?” Jerry continues, with more disgust and displeasure.

He proceeds to share a story. 

“Let me tell you my favorite story about show business. Glenn Miller’s orchestra is doing a gig. They can’t land the plane because it’s winter, a snowy night, they have to land in this field and walk to this gig. They’re dressed in their suits. They’re carrying their instruments. They’re walking through the snow. It’s wet and slushy. In the distance they see this little house, they go up to the house and look in the window and inside they see this family. There’s a guy and his wife, she’s beautiful, there’s two kids and they’re all sitting around the table. They’re smiling. They’re laughing and there’s a fire in the fireplace. 

These guys they’re standing there in their suits. They’re wet and shivering, holding their instruments, and they’re watching this incredible Norman Rockwell scene. And one guy turns to another and goes, “How do people live like this?”… That’s what it’s about.”

For Seinfeld, it’s not a matter of debating the right and wrong of the picturesque and proper nature of the family scene. 

It’s about reminding Adams that if you’re gonna walk this path, pursuing mastery as a comedian, well, then walk it. 

Don’t compare your journey to anyone else's. Be content with the lifestyle required for the work. 

“You Got Something Else You’d Rather Be Doing?”

Jerry’s opening questions, “Do you have something else you’d rather be doing? You got anywhere else you need to be? Any appointments you need to get to?” is a powerful way to reframe your experience when you begin to loathe the day to day.

When you get frustrated by a lack of progress or when you feel discouraged by a lack of visible signs you’re closer to “making it” than when you started, it’s important to ask your impatient self (who thinks this is all a waste), did you have something else you wanted to be doing all this time?

In case you’ve forgotten, the pursuit of mastery is mundane. Kind of boring if you’re only in it for the reward. There’s a monotony associated with everything in life. It can be helpful to reorient your relationship with the work every now and then and remind yourself how good you’ve got it.

You get to work on things that interest you. 

Even for an aspiring comedian, Adams, gets to work on material. He gets to get on a stage and perform his material. He gets to feel completely alive under the lights. He gets to test himself in front of audiences. 

He gets to do the work. 

For the non-comedians out there. It’s helpful to remind yourself from time to time, hey you signed up for this.

You said you wanted to be a great parent. You said you wanted to be a great spouse. You said you wanted to be great at your craft. You said you wanted to be a great leader.

This is what it looks like. 

The Work Is The Reward

The greatest difference between Jerry Seinfeld and Orny Adams in 2002 was not that one had “made it” and the other was still an aspiring journeyman. 

The greatest difference between the two of them was how each of them viewed comedy.

The aspiring comedian saw comedy as a means to an end. A series of hours and opportunities to endure with the hopes there would be a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the tunnel.

The established comedian saw “something special.” A craft to master. A lifestyle to live. 

For Seinfeld, the comedy itself, the experience of working on material, stepping on stage - this was an end of itself. It was not something to endure on the way to achievement. 

How we relate to work matters. The reality is we’re often avoiding work, or leaning into work. We’re either loathing the work, or fully engaged in the work. We’re running from it. Or looking forward to it. 

Grit and resilience are of course needed on the journey, but you know what, so is pure joy with the work.

Is it possible our culture has elevated the role of grit and undervalued the joy of alignment in things you love to do?

It’s only work if you’d rather be doing something else. 

“You got anywhere else you need to be? Any appointments you need to get to?”

Release Yourself From The Desire

“But did you ever stop and compare your life and go okay, I’m 29, all my friends they’re married, they have houses, they have some sort of sense of normality. I mean, what do you tell your parents?”
When Seinfeld shares the story about Glenn Miller’s orchestra, he’s essentially saying, 

“You’re either into this journey or you’re not.” 

We’re either cut out for the lifestyle or we’re not.  

Glenn Miller’s orchestra is a story about living the lifestyle, fully immersed.

Author James Clear shares an powerfully important idea on desires and doing the work. 

He says, “It doesn’t make much sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” 

Do you want the lifestyle? Or are you just trying to hold on long enough to get the result? 

How is it working for you?

(Note - Orny Adams eventually became a guest on David Letterman, Jay Leno, and Conan O’Brien. He has over 550,000 followers on Instagram today and is a regular comedian on tour.)

Maybe he can finally explain to his parents what he’s up to. 

Swing your swing. 

Stay The Course,