What To Do When You Feel Discouraged
Scottie Scheffler is the best golfer in the world.
Over the last three seasons he’s won 15 PGA Tour tournaments, multiple major championships, an Olympic gold medal and a FedEx Cup title. Every tournament he enters, he’s expected to contend.
Heading into the Phoenix Waste Management Open this February, he was once again the clear favorite.
Instead of dominating, he came out in round one and played horribly.
After extensive preparation earlier in the week, prep he later admitted was more than usual, Scheffler shot a 2-over 73 and found himself 11 strokes off the lead. His streak of 33 consecutive rounds of par or better was over.
After the round he admitted something many people would never expect from the world’s No. 1 golfer.
He felt discouraged.
“I was so discouraged I almost didn’t even want to go practice. I went out there, and it was well worth it. I felt like I hit a ton of balls early in the week, it didn’t really pay off. But it was nice to get in a groove today. I definitely take a lot of pride in days like today. It’s nice to get back in the tournament.”
It can be easy to assume the greats in their craft don’t ever feel discouraged. What does Scottie Scheffler have to be discouraged about? He’s in the midst of one of the greatest professional runs since Tiger Woods. Every week he’s expected to be in contention for a tournament win. Yet, his 2026 Waste Management Open reveals to us a truth about leadership and high performance - if you’re in the game long enough, you’re going to have bouts of discouragement.
Don’t Be Fooled
Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking they never feel discouraged.
There are many high achievers who will distort their image to never look weak. Never appear discouraged, never seem second-guessing, never be vulnerable, never confused about the path.
That is not reality.
The only way a person is never discouraged is if they never pursue anything meaningful.
I talk with some of the most accomplished athletes, coaches and leaders in the country and they have all shared times in which they have felt discouraged.
Periods of crushing setbacks. Frustrating delays. Conflict that consumes you. Criticism from folks who never enter the arena themselves.
One elite HS quarterback came into one of our meetings upset about a camp he was hopeful to earn a scholarship offer at. Instead, he shared that his dream school gave the lone scholarship offer to the kid who threw in front of him in every drill the entire day. They threw side by side, and he always followed the guy who got what he was working for. He saw every ball thrown by the player who earned what he hoped would be his scholarship offer.
He felt discouraged.
Another college baseball coach has been regaining his path in the industry after being fired from a head coaching opportunity. In one offseason he interviewed for multiple head coach positions and came up empty. All the conversations. All the interview trips. Met every single time with “We’ve decided to go in another direction.”
He felt discouraged.
Discouragement is an experience only reserved for those who remain on the path.
It only plagues people who are hopeful for the future, fully committed and living on purpose.
Why is it such a painful experience, what exactly is it and what should you do when you feel discouraged?
The definition of discourage is “To deprive one of courage and confidence.” It is the emotional sensation of having courage and confidence stripped from you. I believe it’s such a painful experience because high performers fighting in the arena of life are often engaged in activities that demand courage and confidence.
In my many conversations with high performers and my own personal experience I believe discouragement comes from three main inputs.
We have a negativity bias. We don’t often remember what’s going well and we emphasize what isn’t going well. Negative outcomes and experiences are much stickier than positive ones so we’re often left with an inaccurate scorecard about how things are going - leading to “catastrophizing”
Unmet expectations always seem to be the lead domino to feeling discouraged. “I was hoping by now ____.” “I thought the work would produce more of _____.” One of the quickest ways to move beyond the emotions of discouragement is to pinpoint what expectation is not being met, and determine if it is something in your control or not.
Feelings of discouragement can often be a downstream effect of a growing sense of overwhelm. The demands keep rising, the pressure keeps coming, the distance to the finish line feels further and further. We assess what internal resources we have left and perceive we can’t hold on any longer. When we live in a perpetual state of overwhelm and exhaustion, a loss of courage and confidence surely follow.
What To Do When You Feel Discouraged
Let’s start with what not to do. You should not ignore the feelings, suppress and put on the mask of the false stoic. We have to be mindful of the kind of energy we’re bringing to our environments for sure, but if you never face the internal music of what is happening around your loss of courage and confidence, you will miss the opportunity to grow in true resilience.
By not acknowledging your current inner reality, you are also shortchanging the true value you can bring to someone else down the road. If every time a discouraged leader or performer approaches you, you act as if you’ve never felt discouraged and something is wrong with them, you aren’t adding much value and your impact is limited by your own inability to experience the inner life.
Your capacity to encourage the discouraged is directly proportionate to how you walked through discouraging times in your own life.
Walk through it well in order to build capacity for someone who needs you later.
This is not to say you’re a few tips and tricks away from bounding out discouraging emotions, but I have found the following to be helpful.
Acknowledge cleanly and fully, what it is you are experiencing. This is where journaling practices become invaluable. What expectations do you have that aren’t being met? Where are you not free? Where is the greatest leverage point in the problem? Is your assessment truly accurate?
Get back to the micro - get away from the macro. It’s valuable to zoom out and leaders must develop an ability to do this successfully. But sometimes zooming out and staying zoomed out can lead to great bouts of discouragement because everything feels so distant, progress feels minuscule, and timelines don’t cooperate with plans. We must return to a one-day-at-a-time attitude. Put in a good practice today. 90 minutes of concentrated skill development. Don’t get too far out in front of yourself. Return to the simplicity of laying a brick as perfectly as it can be laid.
Acknowledge this is part of life and leadership. There’s a mental game 101 perspective that says “everything is for my good and is an opportunity for me to learn and grow.” Yes, this even includes the very expectations and conditions surrounding the thing you’re discouraged about. Confidence and courage are never static, single event acquisitions. We’re always being formed by our experiences. Every experience is an opportunity to hone the craft of building confidence and courage.
What a great opportunity you’re being presented with. To work through these intense discouraging emotions and keep going. That’s the stuff of champions.
And you’re becoming one.
Stay The Course,
JB
