Built for Today: The Mind That Supports You at Your Best
What does a flourishing mind look and feel like?
This is the question I’m exploring lately in my work with high performing athletes, coaches and leaders.
I’m 169 episodes deep over on the Flourishing Minds podcast, sharing what I’m discovering about what a flourishing mind looks and feels like, and how to build it. (If you’ve been following on the podcast shoot me a reply!)
Here’s where I’ve landed on what a flourishing mind looks like.
It’s an elite mindset that supports optimal performance, well-being and personal growth.
It’s a mindset that supports you at your best.
It’s marked by a genuine sense of calm, resonance and “flow.”
It possesses a genuine fearlessness and a radical acceptance of all outcomes.
It generates a capacity to give (time and energy)
In the hundreds of hours I’ve spent discussing the Human Function Curve with high performers I’ve come to believe one thing about exhaustion.
While it’s fully integrative (mental, emotional, spiritual and physical), it starts in our mind. How we perceive our stress, our circumstances, the judgments we make on our present circumstances.
This isn’t because we’re weak, soft, or lack toughness - it’s part of being human.
It’s as if our mind (renewed) plays a key part in what kind of life we experience. Developing a flourishing mind is central to living a flourishing life.
What does it look and feel like when you’re not flourishing mentally?
Examples I often hear (and experience)
Negative unchecked thoughts - which turn into chronic insecurity or fear
Overly harsh and critical with ourselves - the opposite of gentleness (fruit of the spirit).
Worrisome rumination
Negative predicting of future competition “I hope this goes well..”
Heaviness, weariness, “fog”
Inability to focus or concentrate
At the core of all of these components is an inability to be mentally present.
Being present is not just a performance advantage. It’s not just a great strategy for sustained well-being, burnout prevention, and avoiding exhaustion.
I’ve come to believe being mentally present is a core strategy for living a flourishing life to the fullest. It’s the vehicle to the “C Zone”, “flow state” or any other sense of “optimal experience.”
Beyond all the technical terms - it’s best embodied by having fun.
Recently I was in a conversation with a major league baseball mental performance coach and we were discussing how the performance psychology world loves to dress up terms and language.
“Optimal experience” is a fancy way of saying “enjoyable” which is another way of saying “fun.”
But “fun” feels like too reckless of a term when you’re in a high stakes environment and there are expectations on you from other people and even higher expectations on you from yourself. So we lose “fun” and start chasing more complex solutions.
Imagine you got a phone call from an old friend who knew what you were up to but didn’t know the day to day. Imagine they asked you the following questions.
“Are you enjoying yourself right now?”
“Are you enjoying the process?”
“Are you enjoying the challenge?”
That’s not to suggest there aren’t hard days or hard moments. (But even those can be enjoyable)
Often if I ask these questions to those I work with and if they tell me no, I follow up with “Well, why not? What’s keeping you from enjoying yourself?”
It’s often something in the past - or the future - that’s cutting in on them.
“Well my last few outings have been inconsistent and less than the level I want to perform at” (PAST)
“We played so bad last game.” (PAST)
“I’m in a contract year and there’s uncertainty about our future at this school)” (FUTURE)
“It’s my draft year and I have to put up good numbers so I can be selected in July” (FUTURE)
One of the core challenges of the human mind is how it holds on to past experiences and uses them to forecast future events (often with an unfair negative bias).
It can be REALLY hard to be mentally present.
Win The Day. One At a Time.
The past and the future have a way of interrupting our ability to be in the present moment. This isn’t a new reality. It’s been this way throughout all of human history.
Consider ALL of the mentions of “One day at a time.” (Mentally present) in the Bible.
What is the expiration date on Manna? (Exodus 16:19-20)
One day.
What is the bread called in the Lord's prayer? (Matthew 6:9-13)
Daily bread.
When are God’s mercies made new? (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Every morning.
What is the deadline on anger? (Ephesians 4:26)
Sun down.
How often are we told to take up our crosses? (Luke 9:23)
Daily.
When are we told to rejoice and be glad? (Psalm 118:24)
Today.
In order to flourish mentally we must learn to accept our limitations. We must abide in him. We must be present “One day at a time”
We’re only given a day at a time.
Questions to consider this week:
If you’re honest, what is it really that is keeping you from being mentally present right now?
In what ways is your inability to be mentally present actually connected to a lack of trust - in your abilities, in your path, or in God?
Are you enjoying the work lately? If no, why not?
Stay The Course,
