The Significance of Feeling Valued

For years I’ve referred to myself as a value-driven individual. 

I have taken pride in my ability to provide the people and organizations that invest in me an outsized return on their investment. 

Beyond the direct returns, whether it’s work or personal relationships, I try to honor those that invest in me, by giving back or paying forward as much as possible. 

Several years ago, I took a promotion that would move me out of the department I was familiar with into an arena that was largely foreign to me. 

I was moving from subject matter expert to noob. 

I didn’t let any of this phase me, in fact, I used it as fuel to put my value-driven engine into hyperdrive. 

Like most new leaders, I was committed to “proving my worth” and set out to have a palpable positive impact on every metric that mattered to the organization. From the bottom line to the phone performance metric I was going to add value.

And guess what? I did just that. In under a year, we had demonstrated significant improvement in all of our key metrics. 

I had objectively “added value” to the team, department, and organization. 

Despite the notable improvements I still felt disconnected from what was happening. There was no sense of satisfaction or contentment. 

Internally, nothing had changed!

However, that all changed when one of the providers I worked with gave me a gift and a nice note upon her return from a vacation.

The gift was a rock. And the note was a simple acknowledgement of the positive impact I was having on her personally. 

At that moment, I felt valued. 

Internally, everything changed! 

I was flooded with gratitude, satisfaction, and joy. I’ve kept that rock with me since, using it as a subtle reminder to keep up the good work, but more importantly to take the time to acknowledge those around me that are also doing just that. 

This experience taught me the invaluable lesson that being of value and feeling valued are not the same thing.

No amount of accumulated external successes can match the transformational impact of a heart-felt human to human acknowledgment of the undeniable value that each of us provides by simply being here.